Asked For Money Comic Strips - Page 79
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829 Results for Asked For Money
View 781 - 790 results for asked for money comic strips. Discover the best "Asked For Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 05,
2018
Sunk Costs
Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception
Transcript
Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.
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Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Sunday April 15,
2018
Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Thursday March 08,
2018
Alice Mentors The New Guy
Monday March 05,
2018
Elbonian Slave Labor
Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money
Transcript
Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.
Thursday March 29,
2018
Doing Nothing
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #logic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you remember that thing I asked you to do last month? Wally: No. Boss: Well, that's okay because something changed and I don't need it anymore. Wally: You're welcome. You'd be surprised how often doing nothing is as good as doing something.
Friday April 27,
2018
Arresting The Rich
Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality
Transcript
Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.
Thursday May 03,
2018
Customers Work For Free
Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness
Transcript
Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.
Tuesday May 22,
2018
Second Opinion
Tags #clarification, #confusion, #instructions, #leadership, #boss, #flake
Transcript
Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.
Wednesday June 06,
2018
Decentralization Changes Everything
Tags #bitcoin, #ethereum project, #decentralization, #currency, #money, #economics, #blockchain, #obliviousness, #jargon, #lingo
Transcript
Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.