Conference Call Comic Strips - Page 79

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835 Results for Conference Call

View 781 - 790 results for conference call comic strips. Discover the best "Conference Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #idea, #brainstorm, #bald, #baldness, #hat, #steal, #patent, #invention

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CEO: I thought of a product idea that could solve the baldness epidemic. Imagine an opaque material in the shape of a dome that puts the top of one's head in stealth mode. Dilbert: We could call it a "hat." CEO: Stop trying to steal my idea!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Dilbert Can Tweak The Software

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Dilbert Can Tweak The Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales, #sales personnel, #demands, #rules, #promise, #restrictions, #obliviousness, #business

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The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.

Asok Not A Terrorist

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Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse

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Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For

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Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement

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Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."

Wally Builds An Mvp Version

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Wally Builds An Mvp Version - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #ai, #technology, #fake, #deception

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Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?

Mom Drone

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Mom Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drone, #surveillance, #mom, #mothers, #spying

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Asok: Hey, you have one of those cool selfie drones! Dilbert: No, I keep forgetting to call my mom, so she sent a drone to watch me. Asok: Is that legal? Dilbert: I checked. It's not trespassing unless it lands.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

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Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #science, #discovery, #trick, #deception

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Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.

Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife

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Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #wife, #spouse, #work, #creep, #relationships, #repulsive

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Boss: I decided to call you my work-wife. Alice: Gurk. I"m creeped out! I'm creeped out! I'm creeped out! Boss: Just like at home. Alice: I need a shower.