Search Results for "eat right"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #permission, #bumper stickers, #forgive

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, did you reconfigure the server without my permission? Dilbert: Let me consult my collection of bumper stickers for an answer. "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission." The Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #data, #Dilbert, #internet, #jerry, #tweet, #weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet! Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel? Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?

Boss Acts Interested

Thank you for voting.
Boss Acts Interested - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #single, #childless, #article, #productive, #kick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.

Dogbert The Sociopath

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Sociopath - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.

Copersons

Thank you for voting.
Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

Complaining Versus Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #angry, #business, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Ai With Bad Analogies

Thank you for voting.
Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

Ai Keeps Owning The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Ai Keeps Owning The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #irritation, #office workers, #robot, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep getting into debates with the A.I. you built, and it refuses to admit I'm right. It keeps sending me links to articles on the wrong topic and claiming it "owned me". Dilbert: Please don't ask me to take sides. Boss: I need you to back me on this.