Search Results for "emotionally unstable coworkers"
Share July 18, 2001's comic on:
Ron is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "If I use the speakerphone it will annoy my co-workers." He continues thinking, "Luckily for me, I'm a sociopath." Dilbert approaches from behind and says, "Two things: you're a bit loud... and you're eating my lunch." Ron responds, "It's delicious."
Share June 16, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a complex model. He points on the screen and says, "I designed a product that could fill a gaping hole in the market." Dilbert continues his presentation, pointing to a new slide with two shapes on it, nothing more. He says, "But thanks to the miracle of teamwork it turned into a product with no actual features." The next slide Dilbert points to shows a picture of himself in bed, laughing. He says, "In Phase three I fantasized about my coworkers being eaten by squirrels."
Share April 25, 2001's comic on:
Alice is sitting at a conference table and thinking, "Maybe I can stave off the boredom by imagining my co-workers naked." Turning to Wally, Alice screams, "Aaagh! No-o-o-0!!!" Alice says to Wally, "No more donuts for you." Wally says, "Hey, don't even kid about that."
Share October 07, 2000's comic on:
Alice is sitting in front of the bosses desk. The boss says, "Lastly, what have you done to improve the morale of your co-workers?" Alice says, "I didn't give them the beatings they so richly deserved." The boss, writing, says, "I'll shorten that to 'team player'?"
Share December 18, 1999's comic on:
Alice is at her computer and the boss says: "Alice, I've been asked to counsel you about your abuse of co-workers." The boss says: "The theory is that I can alter your personality by talking to you." Alice grinds her teeth and shakes her fists in the air while the boss says: "If you feel a tingle, that's probably your DNA changing."
Share December 18, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits with Ted at a table. Dilbert hands Ted a piece of paper. Ted says, "I'm strongly opposed to your plan." Dilbert says, "You haven't read it." Ted says, "Oh, right. But now I'm emotionally invested in my opinion." Ted says, "This plan will never work!!!" Dilbert says, "That is the meeting agenda."
Share November 23, 1998's comic on:
Alice sits at lunch with Wally and Dilbert. Alice says, "I'd love my job if not for my slow-witted co-workers." No reaction. Wally says, "Am not." Dilbert turn to Wally and says, "You're drinking my soda again!"
Share November 05, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."
Share April 12, 1998's comic on:
Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"
Share February 18, 1997's comic on:
Asok, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I'd like to start the meeting with a whiny, unanswerable question." Asok shouts, "Why can't anyone make a decision around here?!" Alice says, "That was good." Dilbert pats Asok on the back and sniff emotionally. He says, "My little intern is all grown up."