Family Emergencies Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

147 Results for Family Emergencies

View 71 - 80 results for family emergencies comic strips. Discover the best "Family Emergencies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2003's comic on:


Tags #reamin annoynomous, #blank card, #just like family, #my card, #business card

View Transcript

Transcript

Matt: "Hi, I'm Matt. It's my first day here." Dilbert: "I'm Dilbert." "And this is..." Wally: "I'd rather not say." "I prefer to remain anonymous, so you won't feel comfortable asking me for anything later on." Wally: "Here's my card. It's blank." Dilbert: "The phrase that you're least likely to hear today is, 'We're just like family.'" "Are you worried that he'll turn over the card and see your name?" Wally: "No." Dilbert: "Was that MY card?" Wally: "I've been handing them out for years."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corporate witch hunt, #products stink, #diving rod, #liar, #pormise, #honor of family, #holy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #mood swings, #deficit, #piece of dirt, #Family, #defect, #defected worker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new co-worker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, this is Irene. I don't yet know what her defect is." Irene yells, "Stop being rude to me, you piece of dirt!!!" Irene hugs Dilbert and says, "We're like family now." The Boss says, "I'm thinking: mood swings."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #selective breeding, #produce offspring, #no biometric impression, #no pulse, #no fingerprints, #no dna

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "For thousands of generations the males in my family practiced selective breeding." Wally continues, "The goal was to produce offspring that leave no biometric impression: no pulse, no fingerprints, no DNA." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Wally responds, "We like to ask, 'Why not?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #award, #family haters, #association, #anti family practice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. He opens an envelope and says, "I got an award!" The Boss reads, 'The 'Family-Haters Association' is proud to give you this award for your anti-family practices.'" The Boss hangs the award on his wall and thinks, "I hope no one reads it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #get fired, #mother, #drop lawsuit, #despicable wesels, #enjoy challenge, #demand dna test, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Mom, I'll get fired unless you drop your lawsuit against my company." Dilbert's mom replies, "Why do you work for a company that's managed by despicable weasels?" Dilbert responds, "They tell me it's because I enjoy the challenge." Dilbert's mom says, "I demand a DNA test."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop lawsuit, #fight dirty, #dispatch goons, #billy blanks on ur butt, #mother, #dilmom, #suing company, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #20% pay cuts, #downsize, #sounds promising

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "You can take 20% pay cuts or I'll have to downsize one of you." The Boss continues, "I know you're like a family but... Yes, Wally?" All of the coworkers are pointing at Wally. Wally doesn't know. He says, "Tell us more about the pay cut. That sounds promising."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilebrt the sales guy, #mother, #overpirced, #hard to use, #spit, #packaging, #mom, #surprised, #mother and son, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert's mom is holding his product. She says, "I wouldn't buy this @#!%!!& with YOUR money." Dilbert's mom continues, "It's overpriced, hard to use, full of bugs and it solves no problem." Dilbert's mom continues, "I spit on your packaging!" Dilbert responds, "Um.. Mom.."