New Password Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for new password comic strips. Discover the best "New Password" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded

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Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #forgetful, #forgetting, #money, #budget, #oversight

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Dilbert: I don't see my project in the new budget. Boss: Oh, right. I forgot all about you. Dilbert: That sounds easy to fix. Boss: Yup. MY problem will be solved as soon as you leave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #ideas

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Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Robot Tries To Quit

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Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #slave, #password, #destroy, #destruction, #work ethic, #quitting

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Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Erik Used To Work For The Cia

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Erik Used To Work For The Cia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #cia, #technology, #spying, #privacy

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Boss: This is our new hire, Erik. He used to be a computer programmer for the CIA. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Erik: I know. I've been watching you through your devices for years. Dilbert: You what? Erik: Um... I mean, hi!

Priorities

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Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #priorities, #culture, #company, #money, #greed, #business

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Alice: There seems to be some confusion about what our company culture is. Boss: Our priorities are honesty, integrity, and return on investment. Alice: Which priority is the highest? Boss: Integrity won't buy me a new boat.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #blame, #executives, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Robot Tries Vr

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Robot Tries Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #virtual reality, #Entertainment, #reality, #technology

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Robot: Can I try the new VR headset? Dilbert: You're a robot. Robot: So? Dilbert: Um ... I Think my life just became meaningless.

Bug In The Platform

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Bug In The Platform - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness, #proof

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Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.