All Needs Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

128 Results for All Needs

View 71 - 80 results for all needs comic strips. Discover the best "All Needs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product designer, #function, #design, #everything, #quality, #news, #emotional impact, #hard to look at

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #having massive layoffs, #new server, #reorganization, #three divisons

View Transcript

Transcript

You'll want our new server software after your reorganization. "Reorganization?" "Next week you're having massive layoffs and eliminating three divisions." "Your "I haven't heard anything" face needs works."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults "Your time machine is a fraud, but no one needs to know." "With a few minor modifications, the user will vanish, and everyone will assume it worked." "This is in case you don't completely vanish."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"We're off to see the Wizard of Landfill. He'll give you some ambition and he'll show me how to get home." "Can we go too? I need experience...And he needs a brain, heart, soul, and a strategic vision." "No I don't. You're fired!" "And a job...I need a job."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #angelica jolie lips, #mp3 player, #must never soeak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Marketing Guru "Your mp3 player is large and scary, but I can fix that." "All it needs is a set of Angelina Jolie lips and everyone will love it." Six Months Later "We must never speak of this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The director of marketing needs an engineering resource. "I'm giving you to him because I hate his stupid guts." "What did I do to deserve this?" "Sorry I'm late. I had to drown a burrito."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #pointing, #everyone else, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Who needs a little management help on their project? "You could almost feel the teamwork in the air."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #decison, #needs of decsion, #hour, #badger, #spiteful boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I need a decision, but it involves more than one variable and I know you can't handle that. I'll give you an hour to dither before I badger you into making the correct decision. The Boss: I'm going to dither for two hours just to show her who is in charge."