Search Results for "can't lift arms"
Share September 08, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."
Share September 18, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Ratbert, did you know that your brain automatically coordinates millions of activities every second?" Dogbert says, "Imagine if it got just a little bit confused - all those neurons firing randomly . . ." Ratbert waves his arms and legs uncontrollably. Dogbert says, "You don't add much to a conversation, but you're easily the best listener I've ever met." Ratbert screams as he falls off the hassock.
Share October 23, 1993's comic on:
Wally says to Dilbert, "Hee hee! How many blondes does it take to change a tire?" Dilbert asks, "One?" Wally says, "No, thirty-seven to lift the car and one to pin the diaper on the tire!!" Wally laughs. Dilbert asks, "Couldn't they just use the jack?" Wally replies, "I wondered about that too."
Share December 04, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."
Share January 07, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert is seated at his desk and Ratbert stands on the desk beside him. Dilbert shows Ratbert something in his palm and says, "Look Ratbert. An entire computer has been baked into one silicon chip." Ratbert grabs the chip and eats it, saying, "Thanks! I don't mind if I do!" Dilbert says angrily, "You ate my computer!" Ratbert holds his arms out straight, stares ahead and replies, "I'm a cyborg."
Share February 21, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert asks Dogbert who sits on the armrest of the couch, "Dogbert, I need your help dealing with a pathological liar at work." Dogbert says, "You're in luck. I happen to have a Ph.D. in Liatology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology." Dilbert crosses his arms and says defiantly, "I'd love to see your diploma." Dogbert replies, "I'll mail it to you."
Share February 22, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."
Share February 25, 1995's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk and Alice sits across from him. The Boss says, "I've replaced the old rating system with a friendlier method. Now I compare each of you to an animal with similar traits." The Boss pushes a document toward Alice and says, "I rated you 'Tyrannosaurus Rex.'" Alice looks excited and says, "T. Rex - the mightiest dinosaur!!" The Boss says, "Think in terms of brain size."
Share March 07, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."
Share March 22, 1995's comic on:
Catbert stands on a cubicle wall, dangling a chart by a string. Catbert says, "Come see the new org chart." Wally and Alice run toward the chart with out-streched arms. Catbert yanks the chart out of reach and says, "Oops, changed my mind!" Wally and Alice collide, producing the noise, "Wham!" Wally and Alice walk away from the collision looking dazed and wearing each other's clothes. Alice says, "Ouchie." Wally says, "I'm sore, but I've never felt so free."