Fat And Lazy Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Fat And Lazy

View 71 - 80 results for fat and lazy comic strips. Discover the best "Fat And Lazy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending

View Transcript

Transcript

Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #seminar, #difficult cowrokers, #groups, #quit job, #syndicated cartoonist

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I'm too busy to learn anything about the projects I'm managing. "I barely have enough time to make critical decisions about them." "Maybe you're lazy and stupid." "Let's go down to the pond and throw rocks at the ducks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Vlad is here to tell us why it's so important to donate blood." "Blood is totally delicious and I'm too lazy to bite necks." "You're not with the Red Cross, are you." "Competition is healthy too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #employee orientation, #no time, #exercise, #long hours, #trans fat, #positive note, #payroll dedcution, #service, #save money, #dirt, #cubicle, #burial site, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #free publicity, #products are deadly, #recalling everything, #told the media, #public relations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #do nothing robot, #lazy, #replacement, #robot, #similar to man, #uncomplicated, #websites, #coffee drinker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I bought a robot to replace you. All it does is drink coffee and look at inappropriate websites. The boss: Did I forget anything? Wally: No, I not a complicated man.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #not working, #admitting, #patience

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I think my single point of contact died." Wally says, "I haven?t heard from him for three months. I don't know the name of his projec or any other people on it." The Boss says, "What have you been doing for three months?" Wally says, "Are you implying that patience is not a virtue?"