Jump Out Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for jump out comic strips. Discover the best "Jump Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #pointy haired, #takeover, #should report, #secret got out, #extra money

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"Our goal is nothing less than a complete takeover of pointy-haired Carl's software division." "We'll start secretly doing their jobs in addition to our own. Then I'll argue that they should report to me." "Hypothetically, if the secret got out, would we stop working twice as hard for no extra money?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there

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Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #edited document, #calirty, #sent out, #amazing, #accuracy and relevance, #spend career fixing

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The Boss: I edited your document for clarity and sent it out. Dilbert: wow. Its amazing how clear it is when you take out all of the accuracy and relevance. I stopped listening after wow I'll get busy spending the rest of my career fixing this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation, #cubicle, #air duct, #facilities, #chip out penguin, #cold, #cooler

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"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #paranoid, #emplooyees, #trying to kill, #pauses between words, #no payment, #ruled out paranoia, #session, #therapist session, #crazy, #couch, #offensive, #cheap, #reluctance to heal

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The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #rat, #meeting, #walls spot, #seat filler, #proedcest day, #career work out, #look at me now, #fired, #business

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Ratbert: Wally is in the men's room. I've accepted a position as his seat filler. This is the proudest day of my life. I never ingrained that my career would work out so well, I want to scream to the world " look at name now" allyL false alarm. you're fired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #check, #forgiveness, #philosophy, #rip out heart, #seek forgiveness, #ask permission, #internet, #technology

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Alice: Gaaa!!! How could you do this without checking with me??!! My philosophy is that its better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Dilbert: did he say you could rip out hi heart and sell it on the internet? Alice: Kinda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #Kids, #turned out fine, #leave early, #how many kids

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Man: Do you mind if I leave early to spend some time with my kids? The Boss: I never spent time with my kids and they turned out fine! How many do you have? The Boss: threeish.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living

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Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."