Lower Standards Comic Strips - Page 8
106 Results for Lower Standards
View 71 - 80 results for lower standards comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Standards" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 31, 2005's comic on:
"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."
Share May 17, 2006's comic on:
Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"
Share July 25, 2006's comic on:
Is it more important to follow our documented process or to meet the deadline? "I only ask because our deadline is arbitrary and our documented process was pulled out of someone's lower torso." "Where's your artificial sense of urgency?" "Teamwork killed it."
Share August 01, 2006's comic on:
I hear you're a job hopper. "I like to think I have high standards." "Are you aware that all jobs require you to do things you'd rather not do? That's why they have to pay you." "Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic." "I quit! I'm going someplace where my coworkers will never waste my time!!!"
Share November 01, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.
Share August 23, 2010's comic on:
Tina says, "We're having a baby shower for Kim on Friday." Dilbert says, "I barely know her." Tina says, "She's having triplets. Try to bring an appropriate gift for once." Kim says, "It's a? book on how to lower my carbon footprint?" Dilbert says, "You're killing us all."
Share December 28, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert: I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call "the dutch sandwich" and Im not vice making that up. So...that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys. Dogbert: yeah....their sandwich has a less appealing name.
Share February 14, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "I rehired Dilbert for a salary much lower than his previous pay." The boss says, "That makes the rest of you overpaid and expendable. Please welcome him back." Alice says, "How bout a hug?" Alice says, "Today you learned that hugging has a dark side." Dilbert says, "Ow."
Share August 31, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."
Share September 01, 2009's comic on:
Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"