Products Safety Comic Strips - Page 8

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189 Results for Products Safety

View 71 - 80 results for products safety comic strips. Discover the best "Products Safety" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #ideas, #meeting, #originality, #irrational thinking, #optoistic, #new prodcuts, #faking optomisim, #fake buy in, #business

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Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #baked products, #science, #flour, #lab

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper. Dogbert enters wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dogbert says, "We're out of flour." Dilbert replies, "I know." Dogbert asks, "And did you know that the bag of white powder in your lab looks just like flour?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Dogbert continues, "And you know how huge, mutated cupcakes will occasionally eat the neighbor's Chevy?" Dilbert says, "This better be a bad analogy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #baked products, #eat, #cupcake

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Dogbert is wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dilbert says, ". . . So, the cupcakes you baked mutated into a hideous monster and ate the neighbor's Chevy . . . Great." Dogbert says, "Oh, like YOU'VE never had problems with a recipe." Dilbert says, "What happens if my neighbor sues?!" Dogbert asks, "Did I mention that he was in the Chevy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #nuclear, #power, #project, #inspection, #report

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Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #broken, #safety, #seal, #pills, #medical, #issues

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Dilbert stands in the bathroom looking in the medicine cabinet. He has a headache. Dilbert holds a bottle and reads a label that says, "Do not use if seal is broken." Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . How are you supposed to get the pills out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #concern, #terminal, #radiation, #air, #bags, #time, #computer

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've addressed your concern about the potential safety hazard of computer terminal radiation." An air bag explodes out of a computer monitor and knocks Dilbert off his feet. Dilbert lies in a hole in the wall. A scientist with a clipboard says, "Air bags -- their time has come."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #product, #testing, #doc, #cosmetics, #dangerous, #assignment, #hate

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Ratbert sits on a lab bench and asks a man in a lab coat, "What product are we testing today, Doc?" The doctor replies, "We'll be testing the safety of cosmetics. This will be your most dangerous assignment." Ratbert walks outdoors wearing eye makeup and blush. People yell, "Hey baby!!" and "Whoa!! Whoa!!" Ratbert thinks, "Sometimes I hate this job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #sales, #department, #boss, #new, #hurt, #customers, #new guy, #despise, #account, #i hate you

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A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey

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Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #does not meet needs, #publishing needs, #plot was lame, #hated characters, #association, #insulting author, #mean publisher, #insulting publisher

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"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."