Better Plans Comic Strips - Page 8
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563 Results for Better Plans
View 71 - 80 results for better plans comic strips. Discover the best "Better Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 07,
2006
Tags #sit silent, #no meaning, #meeting, #conference room, #time is up, #something better, #no purpose, #business
Transcript
There's no purpose for this meeting other than my boss told me to have it. "So let's just sit here silently until our time is up." "Unless you have something better to do." "Not really."
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Tuesday October 16,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #wages, #saved company millions, #no bonus, #ceo plans, #500 million, #acquisitions, #go team, #money
Transcript
Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!
Sunday April 14,
2013
Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse
Transcript
Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.
Thursday April 18,
2013
Tags #conversation, #deception, #political reasons, #irrational nonsense, #filter
Transcript
Boss: Your plan is technically sound, but I have to reject it for political reasons I can't share. Dilbert: I'll come back with some plans that are irrational nonsense and see if they make it past your filter. Boss: I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that.
Thursday September 04,
2008
Tags #ghost, #popular employee, #better job, #spirit, #kill with kindness, #compariosn, #attacks ghost
Transcript
A ghost says, "Hello, Alice. I'm the ghost of the popular employee who once did your function." The ghost says, "My body has gone to a better job, but my spirit remains to remind everyone how mean you are in comparison." The ghost says, "Nice try, but you can only kill me with kindness." Alice says, "Gaaa! Gaaa! Gaaa!"
Tuesday May 18,
2010
Tags #raise, #face front, #budget, #better than nothing, #annoyed, #yell, #mouth open, #close eyes, #shake fist, #angry
Transcript
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Sunday August 31,
2008
Tags #genius, #scheduled, #four oclock, #judeg, #accomplishments, #offcie, #taught better
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, where do you think you're going?" The Boss says, "It's only four o'clock." Wally says, "What a strange thing to say. Did anyone care how many hours a week Beethoven worked?" Wally says, Genius can't be scheduled." Wally says, "Judge my by my accomplishments, not the number of hours I spend at the office." The Boss says, "Okay, fine. What did you accomplish today?" Wally says, "I just taught you how to be a better manager." Wally says, "What? Did you think it was going to happen on its own?"
Saturday November 10,
2007
Tags #old job, #better than here, #great company, #fired, #quit, #moron
Transcript
"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"
Wednesday December 12,
2007
Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better
Transcript
Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."
Sunday April 11,
2004
Tags #pay calculated, #teal, #side conversations, #cilantro, #head will explode, #test theory, #better than hoped, #meeting, #table, #conference table, #business
Transcript
"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."