Fired Me Yesterday Comic Strips - Page 8
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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.
boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.
boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.
Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"
Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.
Elbonian: Our missile program is the pride of Elbonia! Yesterday we launched a test missile that went a hundred yards before ripping the roof off an orphanage. Dogbert: You test your missiles near orphans? Elbonian: What are the odds they'd be unlucky three times?
Dilbert thinks, "I'm feeling timid today . . . I felt timid yesterday too . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Holy cheese! I may be a timid person." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to build a blanket fort with the living room furniture and live in it forever." Dogbert replies, "I'm so proud of you."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I got fired." Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and says, "The crook who robbed our house used my company I.D. card to steal my job too." Dilbert sits in the dark and says, "All I have is you, my friend. Dogbert?" The caption says, "(Don't you hate it when they say) Continued."
The caption says, "Physics made easy." Dilbert says, "Today's lesson is 'time.'" Dilbert points at a diagram and says, "Imagine a donut, fired from a cannon at the speed of light while rotating." Dilbert continues, "Time is like that, except without the cannon and the donut."