Gave Demo Comic Strips - Page 8

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126 Results for Gave Demo

View 71 - 80 results for gave demo comic strips. Discover the best "Gave Demo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #new software product, #google, #created product, #free, #buy in

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Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #honesty, #low margins, #make money, #extended warrantees, #idiots, #forgetful, #take advantage

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CEO Investor Call CEO: Our margins are so low that we gave up trying to make money that way. Now we make all of our money selling extended warranties to idiots who will forget they bought them. Woot-woot! Guess what the margin on that is! Ha ha! Dilbert: It's okay. We don't let him connect to the outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #list of priorities, #business

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Boss: Dilbert, I need you to take care of this. Dilbert: I'd love to, but it isn't on the list of priorities you gave me an hour ago. Boss: Do what I tell you to do, not what I say you should do.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

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Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #road map, #strengthen core, #real work, #manage, #waste inspiration

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The Boss: we need to follow our startegy road map and strengthen our core to become the provider of choice. Dilbert: Do you mind if I go do some real work whole you stay here and mange your brains out? Dilbert: I don't want to waste all of you inspiration you just gave me. Alice: snort.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume

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Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bookings, #frustration, #hell, #trip, #wasn't hotel, #flyer to hell, #swarm of locusts

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The Boss says, "That hotel you booked for the management offsite meeting wasn't actually a hotel." The Boss says, "I'm fairly sure it was the foyer to hell." Carol says, "What gave you that idea?" The Boss says, "Our concierge was a swarm of locusts!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #awkward, #funny face

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Man says, "A salesman borrowed the demo unit that you flew across the country to see." Man says, "Can I show you something totally irrelevant so this doesn't feel so awkward?" Dilbert says, "Give me a minute to get out of the splatter zone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #victor, #project, #smooth, #no problems, #yell, #angry, #upset, #mouth open, #goat head, #patient, #apologize, #business, #medical

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The Boss says, "Are you having any problems taking over Victor's project?" Dilbert says, "Nope. Smooth sailing so far." Asok says, "Smooth??? It gave me a goat head!!!" Dilbert says, "He asked if I had any problems. Wait for your turn, Asok." Asok says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

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CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."