Hard Working Employee Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Hard Working Employee
View 71 - 80 results for hard working employee comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Working Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 16,
1993
Tuesday June 29,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer, #patent
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."
Wednesday September 15,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #blame, #consultant, #willy, #individual, #employee, #innovative, #products, #pioneer, #markets, #processor, #stinks
Transcript
Dogbert is hired as a blame consultant. Dogbert: The company's problems are your fault, Willy. You blame the senior executives, but it is you- the individual employee-who must build innovative new products and pioneer new markets. Willy: But I'm just a word processor I was hired to type. Dogbert: I've seen your typing. That stinks too.
Wednesday October 13,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #salary, #employee, #office
Transcript
An employee stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, ". . . Our pay is too low, and there's no clear leadership. And we want parking spaces." Dogbert presses a level and the man falls through a trap door in the floor. There is a flushing noise. Dogbert thinks, "All things considered, I think I enjoy them more when they're disgruntled."
Wednesday March 09,
1994
Tags #assurance, #value, #average employee, #less of us, #more work, #downsizing, #layoffs, #warning, #fewer employees
Transcript
The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."
Tuesday March 29,
1994
Tags #commercially viable, #hard drive, #installed software, #tail, #zimbu, #monkey, #animals
Transcript
The Boss: Well, well, It looks like Zumbu has designed another commercially viable product using only his tail. Dilbert: I could have done that....If I hadn't erased my hard drive when I installed my security software. I don't produce much, but its very secure. Monkey: Heres another one.
Monday June 20,
1994
Tags #behead, #corporate head hunter, #employee, #new employees, #staffing problem, #you'd be flexible, #go postal, #post office employee
Transcript
"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."
Monday August 22,
1994
Tags #engineers, #filberts job security, #menacing statements, #one option, #reducing headcount, #works hard, #finish project
Transcript
Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.
Wednesday August 31,
1994
Tags #unpaid overtime, #mba class, #working for free, #rub head, #good luck
Transcript
"I'd stay and work some unpaid overtime with you but I'm taking MBA classes." "If YOU took MBA classes you'd understand that working for free is a low NPV." "If you don't mind, before big tests I'd like to rub your head for luck." "It'll cost you a nickel."
Wednesday November 02,
1994
Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"