How Eich Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for how eich comic strips. Discover the best "How Eich" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

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Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

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Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update

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Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #debates, #internet & world wide web, #outsiurcing, #racist, #restrooms, #debate, #internet, #learn debate, #technology

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Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #computers & peripherals, #unix servers, #new servers, #new names

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Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #idea, #never work, #reject hypothesis, #self doubt

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

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Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet

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Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems

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Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.