Human Comic Strips - Page 8
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Character
317 Results for Human
View 71 - 80 results for human comic strips. Discover the best "Human" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 26,
2008
Tags #due diligence, #hidden issues, #bad time, #human buns
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to handle the due diligence for our alliance with the galactic protein corporation." The Boss says, "Find out if they have any hidden issues we should know about." Dilbert says, "Is this a bad time?" Human Buns
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Thursday May 29,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #evaluate job applicants, #unqualified loser, #nailing it, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."
Thursday June 12,
2008
Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Wednesday August 06,
2008
Tags #ergonomically correct, #evil director, #human services, #job perfomance, #chairs, #wellness related
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."
Thursday August 21,
2008
Tags #charitable giving, #unintended consequences, #hobo, #east side, #human flesh
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our charitable giving has caused some unintended consequences." Dilbert says, "It sparked a hobo war. The east side of the city is in flames." The Boss says, "Well, it could be worse." Dilbert says, "They tasted human flesh, and they like it."
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #mandatory stretch, #employee welness, #good and flexible, #new place, #tuck your head, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Thursday November 06,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."
Wednesday November 19,
2008
Tags #headache, #laptop, #meeting, #evil director, #human resources, #laptops banned, #meetings, #should crushing boredom, #futility headache, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Computer: Laptops are banned from all meetings. The only things that should be in your mind during meetings are soul-crushing boredom and a futility headache. The boss: That's more like it.
Wednesday November 26,
2008
Tags #coworkers, #beat up, #deal with difficult coworkers, #evil driector, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.
Saturday January 23,
2010
Tags #sitting, #survey, #benefits, #human resources, #business
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES Catbert says, ?According to the employee survey, you want fewer benefits.? Dilbert says, ?I don't remember doing a survey.? Catbert says, ?We polled a random sample.? Dilbert says, ?That seems a bit suspicious.? Catbert says, ?In other findings, you want more verbal abuse.?