Magnetic Media Comic Strips - Page 8

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99 Results for Magnetic Media

View 71 - 80 results for magnetic media comic strips. Discover the best "Magnetic Media" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #interview, #long story, #bank story, #argued, #admit mistake, #landmark court case, #bank claims, #dumb guy, #fit in

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The Boss is with another man and introduces him to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to interview Matt for our department." Dilbert asks Matt, "There's a three-year gap in your work history. What were you doing?" Matt replies, "One day I was balancing my checkbook and noticed a bank error." Matt continues, "So I embarked on a three-year mission to make the bank admit its mistake!" Matt continues, "I worked the phones day and night, rarely eating or bathing." Matt continues, "Then came the sit-ins, the media frenzy and the landmark court case." Matt exclaims, "The bank claimed that seven minus four is three. And I'm like, 'Since when?'" After the interview, The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would he fit in?" Dilbert replies, "Unfortunately, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #close friends, #facebook, #fix problem, #friends, #liked, #posts, #seven friends, #therapy, #shrink, #popularity, #social media, #technology, #psychology

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Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

Selfie Camera

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Selfie Camera - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #inventions, #priorities, #selfie, #social media, #selfie camera, #car steering wheels, #ion powered car, #share, #slefies, #facebook, #technology

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Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

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Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates

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Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social interaction, #social media, #coders, #coding, #engineers, #friends, #work ethic, #social life, #technology

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Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology

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Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

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Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment

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CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Dick From The Internet

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Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology

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Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.

Asok Meets Dick

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Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

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Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.