Management Kick Ass Comic Strips - Page 8
372 Results for Management Kick Ass
View 71 - 80 results for management kick ass comic strips. Discover the best "Management Kick Ass" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 12, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."
Share October 13, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Tina the tech writer." Tina holds a paper under her arm. Tina stands at The Bosses desk and says, "I grew tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter." The Boss reads paper. Tina says, 'So I started inventing stories of bizarre work-place crimes." The Boss reads and looks surprised. Tina says, "Sometimes we in the media have to give the copycat criminals a little kick start."
Share November 22, 1999's comic on:
Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."
Share November 24, 1999's comic on:
A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."
Share January 22, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert investments: Dogbert and Alice are in a meeting. Dogbert says: "Before I invest in a stock, I talk to the management in person." Alice says: "What good is that? They're all huge liars." Dogbert says: "You believe I really talk to them, right?"
Share February 16, 2000's comic on:
Caption reads: "Dogbert Consults." The Boss is leaning back in his chair and listening to Dogbert who is standing on the Boss's desk. Dogbert advises: "Management is like an organism that needs to survive and grow." He continues: "Employees are your fertilizer." The Boss asks: "So I'm like a well-fertilized plant?" Dogbert answers: "No, and sadly, weasels don't need fertilizer."
Share March 11, 2000's comic on:
Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."
Share July 14, 2000's comic on:
Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."
Share December 19, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Catbert, "Casual Dress Day is hurting our productivity. We need to cancel it." Catbert says, "Is it possible that our real problems are caused by irrational management?" The Boss says, "No, I think comfortable pants are the problem." Catbert says, "Sounds right."
Share December 26, 2000's comic on:
A doctor is examining The Boss as Dilbert says, "I think he tried to meditate." The doctor says, "That's the problem." The doctor continues examining The Boss and says to Dilbert, "You shouldn't mix meditation with management. The mind gets too empty." Dilbert asks, "What can we do?" The doctor says, "I plan to rifle through his pockets."