Most Evil Way Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for most evil way comic strips. Discover the best "Most Evil Way" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales conference, #presentation, #no user interface, #computer, #no bulky user manual, #power outage, #good from evil, #technology

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Sales Conference: Dilbert and Wally are giving a presentation. Dilbert points to a blank computer monitor and says, "Here's the product you'll be selling next quarter." Wally says, "It has NO user interface!" Wally says, 'That means no bulky user manual. And no loss of function during a power outage!" Dilbert carries the monitor away and says, "You were right. Our sales people can't distinguish good from evil." Wally stretches his mouth open with his fingers and says, "I strained a smile muscle." Behind them, the sales people applaud (clap, clap, clap).

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #boss prevents new job, #great job, #outrageous, #bad situation worse, #human resource promise

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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director: Dilbert sits in Catbert's office and waves his hands in the air as he says, "My boss is preventing me from transfering to a great job." Catbert says, "That's outrageous! There shouldn't be any great jobs at this company." Dilbert says, "Once again, you've made a bad situation worse." Catbert replies, "That's the human resources promise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr directorm not enjoying job, #powerful anti depressant, #prescribe drugs, #illegal

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Alice says to Catbert, "I'm not enjoying my job." Catbert hands Alice a bottle of pills and says, "Take this powerful anti- depressant drug for the rest of your life." Alice responds, "I didn't know H.R. could prescribe drugs." Catbert says, "I'd hate to live in a world where that was illegal." Alice reads the bottle aloud, "Boss-proof cap."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no layoffs, #after merger, #Catbert, #evil director, #frozen asteroid, #protective space suits, #not a team player

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert tells Ted and Dilbert, "There will be no layoffs after the merger." Catbert says, "However, many of you will be transferred to jobs on a frozen." Ted asks, "Will we have protective space suits?" Catbert says, "I label you 'not a team player'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #qualified external applicants, #headless man, #mime, #cromagnon man, #invisible cubicle, #relocation costs

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert tells The Boss, "I'm having trouble finding qualified external applicants." Catbert says, "All I have are a headless man, a mime, and a frozen cro-magnon guy we found in a glacier." The Boss asks, "Does the mime bring his own invisible cubicle? I love those!" Catbert replies, "Only if we pay his relocation costs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #balance, #life and work, #worked 80 hrs week, #selfish hag

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, "Alice, the experts say you need to balance work and home life." Catbert says, "You worked 80 hours last week. That's less than half of the hours in a week." Catbert says, "Give us some balance, you selfish hag." Alice replies, "This conversation took a nasty turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answering, #asking questions, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #hiring, #interrupted at work, #interview, #make stronger, #work

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert interviews a man. Catbert says, "Are you able to work while being constantly interrupted?" The man says, "No. I would be totally ineffective, just like anyone else." Catbert says, "We were done with the section you had to answer honestly." The man says, "Oh. In that case, interruptions make me stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #contract employee, #regular employee, #pay less, #motivated, #other than money, #stupidity

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. A male employee with glasses stands. Catbert says, "You've been a good contract employee. We'd like to make you a regular employee." The employee says, "You mean you want to pay me less?" Catbert says, "We want you to be motivated by something other than money." The employee says, "Like...stupidity?"