Not Fair Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

82 Results for Not Fair

View 71 - 80 results for not fair comic strips. Discover the best "Not Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoying, #foibles, #pet peeve, #habit, #office, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.

Dilbert Characters

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Body Doubles Are People Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit man, #murder, #mistaken identity, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?

Robot Will Crush Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Will Crush Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #patent, #copyright, #invention, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

Complaining Versus Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Paying The Replacement More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

What If You Are In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

View Transcript

Transcript

phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Ratio Is Too High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.