Past Year Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

468 Results for Past Year

View 71 - 80 results for past year comic strips. Discover the best "Past Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no raise, next year, disincentivized, moping around, muscles, weak, motovation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I can't give you the salary that you deserve because then there'd be no room for a raise next year." "I wouldn't want you to be all disincentivized, you know, just moping around." Dilbert: "Neck.. muscles.. so.. weak." The Boss: "I think motivation causes that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags profitability, year 3, key revenue, comet strike oil, crashes through wall, abstractions, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finalized busdget, budget for last year, sounds annual

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "At long last, I finalized the budget." Dilbert: "This is the budget for last year." Man: "Stop making it sound annual."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, illeagal, age, sex, martital status, ethnicity, fifty year old, mongrel spinster

View Transcript

Transcript

"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags how many quarters, in a year, board meeting, sound smart

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I forgot how many quarters are in a year. Carol: two Unless its a leap year: then you have two quarters plus a penny, The boss; Maybe I'll say that at the board meeting to sound smart. Carol: Im free.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad year, committed, compensation packages, management, stay course, visons

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "We've had a bad year but management is commited to staying the course." Dilbert: "Question: did you just say our leaders are receiving huge compensation packages to keep doing what doesn't work?" The Boss: "No. The way I said it, they're visionaries." Dilbert: "So ... they keep doing what doesn't work ... and they see visions?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags create software, small investors, pick stocks, past trends, hubris, ignorance, testimonials

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm creating software that will help small investors pick stocks. "It combines past trends that are not indicative of the future with the user's hubris and ignorance." "Now all I need are testimonials from people whose results are not typical!" Dilbert: "So it works?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board meeting, dipping employees, varnish, voted to fire you, 100 million, 1 million year

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stretch goals, goals for year, set higher

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low balling gaols, coming year, decompose chair, sounds easy, different chair

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."