Smashed Pay Comic Strips - Page 8
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328 Results for Smashed Pay
View 71 - 80 results for smashed pay comic strips. Discover the best "Smashed Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 07,
2012
Tags recessions, regular interns, interns intern, no pay, semi relevant job experience, slap you, no reason, stupid economy
Transcript
Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday September 15,
2012
Tags celebrities, wealth, money manager, dumb celebrities, pay close attention, money invested, protect money, money
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.
Sunday August 26,
2012
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, money, raise, higher pay, income higher, boss salary, intuition, business
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you the raise you deserve because it would make your pay higher than mine. Alice: I don't see how that's a problem. Boss: Let me explain it to you this way, Alice. If you make more money than I do your compensation would be greater than mine. Alice: That's not a reason, you ignorant baboon! Boss: Okay, how about... I must be smarter than you because my income is higher. Alice: Gaaa!!! Boss: When I don't have reasons for things, is that called intuition or just common sense?
Friday September 28,
2012
Tags despair, prices, social media expert, fee, pay scale, popcorn, meeting, hope left body, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert
Tuesday October 02,
2012
Tags engineers, wages, hiring engineers, google, million per year, change the world, average engineer pay, money
Transcript
Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers
Tuesday June 10,
2008
Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight
Transcript
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"
Monday July 21,
2008
Tags moral compass, healed, position of power, narrow gap, executive pay, worker pay
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."
Saturday September 13,
2008
Tags purse at home, pay you, curse of competence, fortune teller, curse on first born, crystal ball
Transcript
Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"
Wednesday April 21,
2010
Tags email, document, attachment, attitude, cross arms, care about time, pay stub, smile, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."
Wednesday December 01,
2010
Tags facebook, social network, coworker, pay money, prostitute, frienditute
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Amber, I'll pay you $500 a month to pretend to be my friend on Facebook." Dilbert says, "All you need to do is leave me a public message every once in a while." Amber says, "That would make me a?" Dilbert says, "Frienditute. But it's better if we don't name it."