Start As Morons Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

341 Results for Start As Morons

View 71 - 80 results for start as morons comic strips. Discover the best "Start As Morons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #investor, #investors, #pick up lines, #start up idea, #funding, #saturday night drinks, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Ted's Unicorn Startup

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #success, #failure, #gloating, #start-up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

When Does The Motivation Start

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Does The Motivation Start - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #effective, #effectiveness, #executives, #motivation, #eric scott

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?

Not Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not Morons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #tag line, #slogan, #name-calling, #insult, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.

How Conspiracy Theories Start

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

Anti Gun Advocates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Hiring Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.