Strong Job Market Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Strong Job Market
View 71 - 80 results for strong job market comic strips. Discover the best "Strong Job Market" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 08,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"
Saturday April 10,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #light, #dense, #forced, #job, #highschool, #gym, #teacher, #subjects
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . As you approached the speed of light you would become infinitely dense." Dogbert asks, "Then would you be forced to take a job as a high school gym teacher?" Dilbert replies, "The book changes subjects at this point." Dogbert says, "Sounds like a cover-up."
Thursday May 13,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #budget, #work, #exciting, #numbers, #real, #job
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man says, "Hey, 'Dil-Butt,' I hear they got you doing budget work now." The man says, "Ha ha! It must be really exciting work. I mean, gosh, making all those numbers add up." The man walks away saying, "Ha ha! I'm glad I have a REAL job!" Dilbert clicks the mouse and thinks, "Not anymore."
Friday July 16,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #policy, #job performance, #career
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our newest fad policy is to have subordinates appraise their boss's job performance." Dilbert says, "I give you a 'D minus.'" The Boss asks, "Did I mention retribution?" Dilbert says, "Careful, sir, you're hanging by a thread."
Wednesday August 18,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job security
Transcript
The Boss says to Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, "I want you to read my boss's mind and tell me what he wants my group to work on." Dogbert asks, "Why don't you just ask him?" The Boss replies, "Ask him?? I can't do that. His calendar is booked for months. And I never understand what he says anyway." Dogbert says, "He thinks you're an idiot, but it's easier to pay you than to fire you." The Boss whistles and says, "Whew! Job security."
Tuesday September 28,
1993
Tags #ted, #Dilbert, #job offer, #office
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Thursday September 30,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #office, #job offer
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "One of my co-workers got a much better job at another company. I'm feeling quite envious." Dogbert says, "Instead of feeling sad, you should make a list of all the things you have that he doesn't." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table writing a list. Dogbert says, "So far, you have a birthmark, a fear of spiders and the list itself." Dilbert says, "I had the birthmark removed."
Monday October 04,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."
Saturday October 16,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #retirement, #quit job, #philanthropy
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why did you quit your job as company president?" Dogbert replies, "I made a fortune on my stock options and retirement payout." Dogbert says, "I'm going to turn my attention to philanthropy." Ratbert asks, "Is that the study of people named Phil?" Dogbert replies, "It's mostly about watching people beg and having buildings named after me."
Wednesday January 05,
1994
Tags #no raises, #promotions, #job titles, #named beverly
Transcript
The Boss: We're flattening the organization to eliminate levels and put everybody in a wide salary band. Now instead of not getting a promotion. you'll only not get a raise, wally: So what job title do we use? The Boss: You'll all be named Beverly.