Talk Comic Strips - Page 8
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Character
368 Results for Talk
View 71 - 80 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 25,
2018
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots
Tags the boss, alice, ted talk, idiots, dumb, career, change, smart, possible, speak
Transcript
The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Wednesday March 25,
2020
Hiring Morons And Ted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, labor, market, hire, moron, position, ted talk, video, smart
Transcript
boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.
Sunday September 20,
2020
Silencer In Facemask
Tags bored, business, covid, face mask, hear, managers & supervisors, office workers, play, silencer, talk
Transcript
wally: i installed a silencer in our pointy-haired boss's face mask. now he's the only one who can hear himself talk, but he doesn't know it. here he comes. play along. boss has speech bubble with no words. boss's back is turned and has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh. okay. thanks. and i can do the same thing to the face mask of anyone else who bores me. dilbert has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh.
Thursday May 13,
2021
Marriage Takes Work
Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work
Transcript
dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
Wednesday June 02,
2021
Political Talk
Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed
Transcript
catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.
Friday April 01,
2011
Tags therapy session, cloud, having meeting, tech talk, couch, shrink, avatar, engineer, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.
Wednesday April 13,
2011
Tags appeal, bad person, business ethics, comparison shopping, guilt, molt, prevents competitors, raising prices
Transcript
Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.
Friday April 15,
2011
Tags big business, children drawing & painting, executives, chalky substance, layers of mangement, new layers, p, avp, director, doplphon, inanimate object
Transcript
CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.
Sunday July 10,
2011
Tags anger, quarreling, mastered art, being useless, next level, toxic, toxic people, complain, personal problems
Transcript
Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.


