Visit Mom Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

107 Results for Visit Mom

View 71 - 80 results for visit mom comic strips. Discover the best "Visit Mom" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #action items, #filberts mother, #gnp, #not giving back, #tuition money, #costs for strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #security, #equipment removal, #authorization, #signatures, #turn tables, #sign form, #birth certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ceo visit, #discontinue work, #five days, #illusion of productivity, #diversity, #few open slots

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our CEO is visiting next week. Discontinue all real work immediately." The Boss continues, "We have five days to create the illusion of productivity." The Boss points to a clipboard and says, "Here's the diversity sign-up sheet. We still have a few open slots that only require a hat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ceo visit, #hide in restorrom, #too soon, #start dream assignment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, our CEO is visiting next week. I want you to hide in the restroom." Wally opens his drawer to take out his things. The Boss stops him and says, "It's too soon." Wally replies, "It's never too soon to start a dream assignment."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accountants are weasels, #defective, #dilmom, #make money, #sell t shirts, #selling defects, #wesel soup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to his mom, "Our accountants are weasels. They let us go bankrupt so they could sell T-shirts that say, 'I'm with bankrupt.'" Dilbert's mom responds, "Didn't your company make all of its money selling products you know were defective?" Dilbert replies, "Just stir your cauldron, mom." Dilbert's mom says, "Ironically we're having weasel soup."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilberts moother, #making conversation, #massively incompetent, #ashamed, #dilmom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are watching television. Dilbert says, "Mom, here's our new commercial." Dilbert's mom replies, "It gives no information about your products. Are you ashamed or just massively incompetent?" Dilbert asks, "Why can't we be both?" Dilbert's mom responds, "I was just making conversation."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #3 projects, #cucbicle, #double wide, #elevator, #scarbble, #night, #counterfeit vowles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #blah blah, #make holidays tense, #stockholder, #stop merger, #suing us, #dilberts mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at his computer. The Boss approaches, hands Dilbert a photograph, and says, "This stockholder is suing us to stop the merger. Go rough her up." Dilbert looks at the photograph and responds, "This assignment disturbs me on many levels." The Boss says, "Name one." Dilbert looks down at the photograph of his mom and says, "It will make the holidays tense." The Boss replies, "Blah, blah, blah."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop lawsuit, #fight dirty, #dispatch goons, #billy blanks on ur butt, #mother, #dilmom, #suing company, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"