World Class Invenotr Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

398 Results for World Class Invenotr

View 71 - 80 results for world class invenotr comic strips. Discover the best "World Class Invenotr" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no class, #need in offcie, #someplace else, #use you, #coffee cup, #walk around

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the boss's desk. The boss says to Alice while looking at a sheet of paper: "I can't send you to this class, Alice. We need you here." The boss says to Alice: "And after we use you up, we'll need you to be somewhere else." Alice says to Wally, who is standing in front of his cubicle: "What will I do when my skills are obsolete?" Wally answers while holding a cup of coffee: "Try walking around with a coffee cup"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best employees, #world, #refuse to work, #low pay, #improve morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss has a sheet of paper and a pen on the table. The boss says: "We have the best employees in the world..." The boss says: "...not counting the people who refuse to work here because the pay is so low." The boss thinks while writing something: "Improve morale... done." Wally and Dilbert look away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #personal rasons, #whole world, #knowledge, #entertainmemt, #finger tips, #ice cream, #so hungry, #eating in cubicle, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, sitting at his computer, thinks, "I..must..resist..using..the internet for personal reasons." Dilbert thinks, "Gaa! There's a whole world of knowledge and entertainment at my fingertips...teasing me!" Catbert dangles an ice-cream cone from a pole in front of Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Ice Cream! I'm so hungry!" Catbert says, "No eating in your cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory class, #windows, #training, #teacher doesn't know, #no computers, #uses box, #teeth as keyboard

View Transcript

Transcript

Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge, #management training, #stupid mistake, #class, #school, #learn from it, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class, #cloak of invisibility, #consultant, #invisibility, #management cloak, #management training, #special, #students, #teacher, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert addresses the class, saying, "Tim will demonstrate the Management Cloak of Invisibility." Dogbert points to Tim who is sitting at a desk in front of the Management Training class. Dogbert watches as Tim sinks below the desk. Dogbert says to the class as Tim disappears from view, "I admit it doesn't seem very special when you know how it's done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evolution training, #zoltar, #graduate, #class, #new sideburns, #speed evolution

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert is standing atop a stool with a pointer in his hand. Zoltar is standing in front of the class. Dogbert introduces him, "Zoltar is a graduate of this class. He will demonstrate speed evolving." Zoltar shows the class his talent as Dogbert watches from his stool. He shakes with clenched fists and grunts, "Unh... Errr...Hoo...Ahh." Dogbert continues to stare at Zoltar, who now has small hands growing out of the side of his head. Zoltar responds, "I hope you're staring at my new sideburns."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yoga class, #harmony and blance, #stare at stretchy women

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and says, "I signed up for a yoga class." Wally continues, "They say it will help me achieve harmony and balance." Wally continues, "Failing at that, I plan to stare at stretchy women."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lost two pounds, #yoga class, #never sick, #yoga prodicgy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I've lost two pounds since I signed up for yoga class." Wally continues, "And I never get sick anymore." Dilbert says, "You haven't had a class yet." Wally responds, "Maybe I'm some sort of yoga prodigy."