Art Of Full Body Lying Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

592 Results for Art Of Full Body Lying

View 71 - 80 results for art of full body lying comic strips. Discover the best "Art Of Full Body Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #crisis, #image, #self, #value, #world, #jukebox, #room, #resources

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert walks in and says, "I'm having a crisis of self image." Ratbert asks, "Do I, as a rat, add any value to the world? Or do I simply deplete its resources, then die?" The musical notes coming from the radio stick to Ratbert's body. He says, "Oh . . . Sorry . . . I sucked all the music out of the room."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Men, #hair, #head, #combing, #grow, #ear, #clueless, #people, #employee, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

A man sits at a conference table with two co-workers. He thinks, "I'm feeling confident today with what appears to be a full head of hair." The man thinks, "Nobody suspects that I'm actually combing the hair that grows in my ears over the top of my otherwise bald head." The man thinks, "It's amazing how clueless these people are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lenin, #twenty, #bucks, #king, #commies, #available, #stores, #dollars, #wall, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #lenin, #body, #museum, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: Wow! You bought Lenin's body? Dogbert: Only ten dollars. Now I have to decide what to do with it. Ratbert: You could build a museum. Dogbert: I was thinking of using him as a coffee table.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #approve, #buying, #lenin, #body, #desk, #listening, #nostrils, #pencil, #holder

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I didn't approve of you buying Lenin's body to begin with . . ." The body lies across milk crates. Dilbert continues, "And I certainly don't approve of you making a desk out of it." Dilbert asks, "Are you listening to me?" Dogbert says, "Hey, if I flip him over I can use his nostrils as a pencil holder!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wilt, #ghandi, #chamberlain, #Women, #relations, #men and women

View Transcript

Transcript

A short man wearing an Indian pancha says to two women in a bar, "Hello, ladies." The man says, "I'm Wilt Ghandi. I'm the product of a genetic experiment combining the wisdom of Wilt Chamberlain and the body of Ghandi." One woman says, "That's the best line tonight. I'm going for it." The other woman says, "Hey, I saw him first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #answer, #work, #body, #language, #discourage, #working, #ted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Maybe Ted can answer that question . . ." Ted thinks, "Uh-oh." Ted thinks, "They're trying to make me work. I'll have to use body language to discourage them." Ted puts a pencil up his nose and rubs his head. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Never mind." Ted thinks, "It's working."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #credit, #banks, #interest rate, #filming, #television, #ads, #Dogbert, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #masterpiece, #Dilbert, #discovered, #art, #form, #brilliant, #considered, #abstract, #expression, #inner, #feelings, #gullible, #morons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table drawing on a piece of paper. He thinks, "Another masterpiece." Dilbert asks, "What are you doing, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I discovered a highly efficient art form." Dogbert explains, "I've brilliantly combined the simplicity of charcoal with the simplicity of abstract expression." Dogbert continues, "The secret is to let your deepest inner feelings guide the charcoal." Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Inner feelings?! What inner feelings? These are scribbles." Dilbert continues, "All I see here is that a cynical dog thinks art buyers are a bunch of gullible morons." Dogbert says, "Wow! I nailed that one!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #tuition, #leverage, #paid, #alice, #tipping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."