Better Plans Comic Strips - Page 8
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576 Results for Better Plans
View 71 - 80 results for better plans comic strips. Discover the best "Better Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 19,
1993
Tags #time machine, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #recycling, #trash
Transcript
Dilbert kneels in front of a machine. He tells Dogbert, "My time machine is complete." Dogbert says, "I guess you'll be off to explore exotic and fascinating civilizations." Dilbert asks, "Why would anybody want to do that?" Dogbert replies, "Beats me." Dilbert says, "My plan is to send all of our trash to ourselves twenty years from now. We'll have much better recycling methods by then." Dilbert puts a bag of trash into the time machine and says, "I wonder what elegant methods we'll have for recycling in the future." Dilbert continues, "I bet we'll have a way that's quick and efficient and . . ." Dogbert asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." They hear a "ping." Dilbert and Dogbert stand among several bags of trash. Dilbert says, "We would send it back in time and wait for it to decompose." Dogbert says, "I hate us."
Wednesday December 22,
1993
Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #money, #shopping, #christmas, #man, #wedgie
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."
Thursday December 30,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #conquer, #building, #Religion, #life, #calculate, #spreadsheet, #law, #students, #zero, #bar
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I can't decide if it would be better to conquer the world by building an army or starting a religion." Dilbert asks, "Which one would have the least loss of life?" Dogbert replies, "That's what I'm trying to calculate on this spreadsheet." Dilbert asks, "Why are you counting law students as two-tenths of a person?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."
Monday January 03,
1994
Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business
Transcript
The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.
Tuesday February 15,
1994
Tags #trying to please, #fool, #better please, #crush you, #selfish dogbert, #justa thought, #others, #threatened
Transcript
Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."
Thursday February 17,
1994
Tags #forgiveness, #seek permission, #personal risk, #next reorganization, #sound stupid, #ask permission
Transcript
Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."
Monday February 28,
1994
Tags #reengineer, #business processes, #jump on band wagon
Transcript
The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,
Saturday March 12,
1994
Tags #rate of inflation, #Promotion, #net worth, #shopping cart, #aluminum cans, #all good carts
Transcript
Dilbert: "At the current rate of inflation, with no raises or promotions..." "Our net worth at retirement will be...a shopping cart full of aluminum cans." "We'd better do something." Wally: "I'm going shopping before all the good carts are gone."
Sunday March 20,
1994
Tags #better comoritively, #dread, #fixed income, #health problems, #pre meeting meeting, #retirement, #shrink, #wrinkles, #complaints
Transcript
wally: Im looking forward to retirement. I can't wait! I'll have my tiny fixed income, barley enough to survive! ...and a new health problem almost everyday! Wally: I'll have wrinkles everywhere and I'll actually shrink! HAHA! I'll produce nothing and I'll complain constantly! Dilbert: You're looking forward to a ll that?? WallyL well...compared to working here... The boss: Its time for the pre meeting meeting on employee productivity. Wally and Dilbert: mmm. fixed income ...health problems...
Monday March 28,
1994
Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey
Transcript
Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?