Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 71 - 80 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 14,
1994
Tags huge time saver, final consulting, company, deadweight, employees.fired, company directory, business
Transcript
Ratbert: Here's my final consulting report on your company. Ive listed all the deadweight employees who should be fired. The Boss: This is the company directory. Ratbert: Finding that was a huge time saver.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday May 17,
1994
Tags build, meeting, project kick off, project manager, super fast microchips, harder to saboatge, business
Transcript
"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."
Tuesday June 28,
1994
Tags book publishing, reject authors, untalented dolts, publish something, conventional wisdom
Transcript
"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."
Sunday July 10,
1994
Tags share accomplishements, meeting, share, tiger team, lock up session, meeting cancelled, nothing tangible, busy work, business
Transcript
The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.
Sunday September 25,
1994
Tags personal uses, office fax, boss hassles dilberet, fax paper, phone lines, electricity, sent some over, dilbert busts boss, busts boss
Transcript
"It has come to my attention that you used the fax for personal business." "I sent the fax during lunch. It was a local call." "You're using up all of our fax paper." "No, I sent a fax. The paper doesn't travel through the phone lines." "It doesn't?" "You used the company's electricity." "I had a friend fax us a wad of extra electricity." "I'm using it right now to power my pc." "Did you get any extra electricity? My pc is out." "Press the button on the back and I'll fax you some."
Monday October 03,
1994
Tags consulting comany, executive compensation, ninety percent, overpaid, repeat business
Transcript
Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.
Wednesday October 05,
1994
Tags benefits, define reality, half the cost, keep objectives, rewrite business case, cut funding
Transcript
The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?
Monday October 10,
1994
Tags sales, two years, sudden surge, business case apporved, get promoted, accountability, business
Transcript
Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.
Monday October 24,
1994
Tags confidential, ethics offcie, weasel boy, ethics expert
Transcript
The Boss: "The company hired an ethics expert to help us through the gray areas." "Your calls to the ethics office are completely confidential." Dogbert: "Thanks for sharing that. I own you now, Weasel-boy."
Tuesday October 25,
1994
Tags ethics questions, co worker, pentium pc, run over foot, car accident, parking lot, Dilbert
Transcript
Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."

