Creepy Speech Comic Strips - Page 8

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82 Results for Creepy Speech

View 71 - 80 results for creepy speech comic strips. Discover the best "Creepy Speech" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding

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Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

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Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

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Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy

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Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reality, #virtual reality, #vr, #sanity, #hallucination, #fantasy, #imagination, #therapy, #psychology

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Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes, #health

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Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

Helping The Boss Be Successful

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Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

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Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister

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Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?

Self Driving Car

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Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy

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Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

Robot Has A Cyborg

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Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone

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Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care

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wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Silencer In Facemask

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Silencer In Facemask - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #business, #covid, #face mask, #hear, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #play, #silencer, #talk

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wally: i installed a silencer in our pointy-haired boss's face mask. now he's the only one who can hear himself talk, but he doesn't know it. here he comes. play along. boss has speech bubble with no words. boss's back is turned and has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh. okay. thanks. and i can do the same thing to the face mask of anyone else who bores me. dilbert has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh.