Cut Costs Comic Strips - Page 8

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202 Results for Cut Costs

View 71 - 80 results for cut costs comic strips. Discover the best "Cut Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #cut used papaer, #little squares, #note pads, #less than hour, #print blank pages

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The boss sits at a conference table with a pad of paper in front of him. The boss says, "We can save money by cutting used paper into little squares to use as note pads." The boss says, "I made these in less than one hour." The boss says, "Not counting the time it took me to print the blank pages."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivating you, #great job, #golfing day, #cow owkrers, #pay cut

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I decided to try to motivate you." The Boss says, "...If you do a great job, you get to go on a golfing day with co-workers." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Can I take a pay cut instead." Wally thinks, "ZZZZ"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees

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The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #face time, #software, #man makes face, #imitating worker, #discourage from raise, #costs money, #discouraging, #engineering

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The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #action items, #filberts mother, #gnp, #not giving back, #tuition money, #costs for strategy

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Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dumpster service, #save money, #discovered alternative costs, #tear off piece

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At a meeting, the Boss announces: "I cancelled our dumpster service to save money." He continues: "I discovered an alternative that costs nothing." He tells everyone as he hands them a sheet of paper: "Everyone tear off a piece and put it in your pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut budget, #technology installation, #adequate budget, #unethical vendors, #huge purchase, #free stuff, #no hidden costs, #huge purchase later

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't breathe, #demonstration, #evil eye process, #new consultant, #paper cut bleeding, #rasputin, #charisma

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The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #funerals, #evil dierctor, #heating costs, #too high, #company furnace, #cremated, #business

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off

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Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"