Date At Door Comic Strips - Page 8
357 Results for Date At Door
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Share October 11, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a castle door labeled "King Dogbert." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to convince him to resign." An Elbonian guard holds Dilbert by the arm and says to Dogbert, "I found him lurking, sire. The usual punishment?" Dilbert says, "Dogbert!" Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, says, "Dilbert!" Dilbert asks, "What is the usual punishment?" Dogbert replies, "A blind date with 'Edna the Loneliest Hun.'"
Share November 17, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."
Share November 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"
Share December 27, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"
Share January 14, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in the door under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Jail for the Rich and Famous." A man carrying a briefcase says, "Checking in." Dogbert sits at a desk reading a document and the man sits across from him. Dogbert says, "Your record says you stole three billion dollars from investors." The man laughs. Dogbert continues, "I guess you've learned your lesson." The man looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! Looks like my jail term is almost over!"
Share January 26, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I have a solution for your dating dilemma." Dogbert continues, "At your age there are more single men than single women." Dogbert continues, "Worse yet, all of the single women are dating married men or serial killers." Dogbert continues, "But the statistics eventually favor men." Dilbert asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "At age 80 there are THREE TIMES as many available women as men because men die younger." Dilbert asks, "Are you saying I should wait until I'm old . . . And date 80-year-old women?" Dogbert says, "No. I wouldn't wait . . ."
Share February 04, 1992's comic on:
A man with a large head answers the door wearing a bathrobe and says, "Uh . . . Hi, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "Hi. I'm here for my first Mensa meeting of geniuses." The man says, "It's at 5 P.M., not 5 A.M." Dilbert walks away thinking, "Bad start."
Share February 09, 1992's comic on:
A man answers his door and says, "Dilbert! Dogbert!" Dilbert says, "Thanks for inviting us over." The man stands next to a woman and says, "We thought you'd like to see our home video of little Timmy's birth." The man puts the tape in the VCR and says, "We captured every beautiful moment on VHS!" The woman asks, "Have you ever seen a Caesarean section before?" The man points at the screen and says, "The doctor is making the incision!" The man continues, "Now they're removing the squiggly thing!" The woman says, "Wait . . . This might be the wrong tape . . . I think this is your appendectomy video." Dogbert says, "Either that or little Timmy isn't very photogenic."
Share March 10, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm an attorney for Mister Dogbert . . ." The lawyer continues, "He's suing you for 'petimony.' You allegedly pet the neighbor's cat . . ." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "See . . It was a pat, not a pet. Like this . . ." Dogbert, who is reading the newspaper, replies, "Oh look, it's 'Garfield,' your favorite . . ."