Die Of Boredom Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for die of boredom comic strips. Discover the best "Die Of Boredom" comics from Dilbert.com.

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My boss marked me with the plunger of blame. How can I get rid of it? "Eventually your body will absorb the plunger of blame and turn it into the wrinkles of experience." "And then you die." "It's starting to itch!"

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"Some batteries in the lab leaked." "I cleaned it up, but there was no place to put all of the hazardous waste." "I couldn't put it in the regular trash or the recycling bin." "It's not legal to pour it down the drain or flush it." "So I put it between two pieces of bread and left it in the break room refrigerator." "GAAA!!!" "Not really. I just wanted to find out who's been eating my lunch." "You mean I'm not going to die?" "Not instantly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation time, #off next week, #cures eyou, #so much work, #die! relieve stress, #unsupportive

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The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory meeting, #health and well being, #theme of meeting, #healthy employees are unprodcutive, #exercsing, #eating fruit, #work hard and die, #feel sick, #right on schedule

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The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #take an hour, #skip meeting, #agree to die, #earlier, #deadness, #haunt boss, #agreement

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Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #court room, #judge, #lawyer, #ceo, #witness, #defendant, #die die die, #admits guilt, #first question, #legal

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Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reject proposal, #reason, #level of management, #authority, #get fired, #starve to death, #repharse, #question

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The Boss says, "I reject your proposal." Dilbert says, "Is there any particular reason this time?" The Boss says, "At my level of management I don't have the authority to approve anything important." The Boss says, "But I do have the authority to reject things." The Boss says, "If I don't reject proposals, there's nothing for me to do." The Boss says, "If I do nothing I'll get fired. I might never get another job. I could starve to death." The Boss says, "So I have to reject everything you propose or else I might die." Dilbert says, "What am I supposed to do now?" The Boss says, "Can you rephrase that question in the form of a proposal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cow supervisor, #bovine overlord, #usurper, #food chain, #kind of cool, #position in food chain

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Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference room, #where hope goes to die, #the rectangle of futility

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A man says, "I'm here for an interview in a conference room named..." The man says, 'Where Hope Goes to Die'" Carol says, "It's the first one past 'The Rectangle of Futility.'"