Drains Will Comic Strips - Page 8

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #nasa, #shuttle, #specific, #duties, #video, #risky, #experiment, #ideas

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Nasa Scientist 1: You will be with one other... Uh... Astronaut in a private room. You two will have no specific duties on this mission. I'll be monitoring you on video. Nasa Scientist 2: A nerd, a monkey, and one Nintendo at zero gravity... Pretty risky experiment. Nasa Scientist 1: To be honest, we were running low on good ideas.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bob, #custody, #invention, #dinosaurs, #will, #death

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Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "What did Dilbert leave you in his will?" Dogbert replies, "He stiffed me." Dogbert holds a device and explains, "All I got is custody of this stupid invention of his . . . I don't even know what it does." Bob says, "I get it . . . He 'stiffed' you . . . Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "Try to stay with me, Bob."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bob, #gadget, #custodian, #hyperelectronic, #induction, #transmutant, #geoplasmic, #collectimizer, #soap, #dispenser

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Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "That's all Dilbert left you in his will? A gadget?" Dogbert replies, "I'm just the custodian." Bob says, "Maybe it's some kind of hyper-electronic induction transmutant geoplasmic nodal collectimizer." Dogbert replies, "Maybe . . . But I'm guessing bathroom soap dispenser." Bob picks up the device and asks, "Can I change my guess?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mr. tidy, #punk, #experienced, #stealing, #homes, #area, #extra, #van, #nicer

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Dilbert asks the cleaning man, "And your name is . . . ?" The man replies, "Call me Mr. Tidy." Dilbert says, "The agency says you're experienced." The man replies, "Yeah, I've cleaned out some of the nicer homes in this area." The man continues, "The best thing here is to load your possessions into my van and I'll clean 'em at my place." Dilbert asks, "Will that cost me extra?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #shopping, #nerdstrom, #compile family, #complimentary, #guarantee, #nice

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Dilbert walks into a store called Nerdstrom. A salesclerk says to Dilbert, "Hi, I'm Larry, and I'll be your personal shopping assistant." The salesman opens a measuring tape and says, "I'll start by measuring you, then I'll do your colors, then compile a brief family history for our records." The salesman continues, "Complimentary food and beverages will be served, and a masseuse is on call." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a new pen . . . Maybe something in a Bic." The man says, "I recommend the blue. We guarantee it for life." Dilbert says, "Yes, this will do nicely." Back at home, Dogbert asks, "Was it expensive?" Dilbert replies, "Fortunately, I qualified for their identured servant plan."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaurs, #robber, #dawn, #bob, #honesty, #bat, #flush, #swirly

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The thief comes to the door and Dogbert says, "Greetings." The crook says, "Hey! Ain't you the worthless watchdog from dat Dilbert guy's house I robbed?" Dogbert points to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs and says, "I'd like you to meet Dawn and Bob who will say a few words about honesty." Dawn is holding a bat. Bob and Dawn hold the thief upside down by his ankles. Bob says, ". . . And honesty means never having to say 'please don't flush me down the toilet.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert's ego, #Dogbert, #pound, #pudding, #faint, #fable, #children's, #story, #insecurities

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Dilbert's Ego vs. His Insecurities Dilbert's Ego: C'mon, you coward. You may be big, but I'm going to pound you into pudding!! Dilbert's Insecurities: I'm going to faint. Dogbert: I don't think this will be a children's fable anytime soon.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dawn, #bob, #dinosaurs, #craving, #stop, #unusual, #credit, #egg

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Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "I think I'm going to have an egg, Bob." Dawn continues, "I'm having unusual cravings." Bob shouts, "Yes!! I did it!!" Dawn puts her hands on her hips and says, "Like right now I'm craving you will stop taking all the credit." Bob shouts, "I'm number one!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #Dogbert, #egg, #dinosaurs, #animal behavior

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Bob the Dinosaur stands with Dawn and tells Dogbert, "We're going to have an egg!!" Dogbert asks, "What are you hoping it will be?" Bob replies, "Something round and white, about yea big."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #egg, #shelley, #baby, #dinosaur

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Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "We should think of a name before the egg arrives." Bob asks, "How about Shelley?" Dawn asks, "Bob, are you aware that the egg will become a baby dinosaur?" Bob looks shocked and asks, "What?"