Ears Comic Strips - Page 8

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83 Results for Ears

View 71 - 80 results for ears comic strips. Discover the best "Ears" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #really show, #camera, #capture failures, #humiliations, #dull act of insignificance, #fill void, #fathering children, #being famous

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Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #stupidity, #yelling, #Advice, #reading

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The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #rejecting, #objecting, #ridicule, #ears, #pointed, #offended

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Mordac, the preventer of information service Mordac says ,"Cloud computing is no good because strangers would have access to our data." Dilbert says, "I trust encryption way more than I trust spock-eared sociopaths." Dilbert says, "When you mention a person's ears, he won't listen to the rest of your argument."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #work from home, #bathrobe, #distractions, #challenge, #determined, #gas leak, #sparks, #baby in wall, #ears up, #frustrated, #yell, #mouth open

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Dilbert says, "I'm working at home today so I can concentrate without any distractions." Dilbert says, "Please don't disturb me. Nothing is so important that it can't wait." Dogbert says, "I take that as a challenge." Dilbert says, "No, please..." Dogbert says, "Do you smell that?" Dogbert says, "I'm pretty sure it's a gas leak." Dogbert says, "Have you noticed that the lamp makes huge sparks every once in a while?" Dogbert says, "I wouldn't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dogbert says, "I think I hear a baby trapped in the wall!" Dilbert says, "Get out of my head!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lab coat, #invention, #scan, #brain, #predict, #buy, #kill, #suspicious, #microwave, #smoke out of ears, #rays

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Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy? a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part of your brain." FERT!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security consultant, #meeting, #angry, #shake, #ears up, #surprise, #fillings, #dentist, #id badge, #business

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Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #nasa, #tracking satellite, #asteroid

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Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

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Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.