Efficiency Experts Comic Strips - Page 8

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92 Results for Efficiency Experts

View 71 - 80 results for efficiency experts comic strips. Discover the best "Efficiency Experts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Robot Learns To Procreate

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Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, mind control, thinking, life, creation, conscience, sentience, manipulation

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Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, coding, code, control, efficiency, purpose, job, red tape, business

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Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

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Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture

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Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.

Car Rental Typing

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Car Rental Typing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, efficiency, car rental, frustration

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Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!

Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar

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Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politeness, conversation, etiquette, efficiency, illogical

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

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Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency

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Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Horse Blinders

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Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, work

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Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.

New Forms

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New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency

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Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Experts And Non Experts

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Experts And Non Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, experts, architecture

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dilbert: the experts say our architecture is not scalable. the boss: bah! the experts are biased. i want to hear what the non-experts say. dilbert: they say we should listen to the experts. the boss: okay, how about the people who are neither experts not non-experts?