Ethics Course Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

226 Results for Ethics Course

View 71 - 80 results for ethics course comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Course" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #late worker, #coffee and bagel, #starts late, #woman, #worked 6am, #paid same, #smarter, #casual brillaince

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new corporate code, #report immediately, #señor management, #ship prodcuts, #defective, #take care, #lying, #report you

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #functions to outsorce, #dont do well, #management, #sales, #quality control, #core competenece, #brown table startegy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, I put together a list of functions we should outsource." Dilbert continues, "I limited my list to things we don't do well." The Boss and Wally listen as Dilbert's voice continues, "Marketing, quality control, engineering, finance, human resources, and customer support." Dilbert says, "That leaves us with our core competence..." Dilbert continues, "... Sitting around a brown table." Dilbert says, "And, of course, our ability to speak honestly without fear of retribution." The Boss says, "You will never get another raise as long as I'm alive." Dilbert responds, "Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the brown table strategy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #description, #projected course, #impossible, #uncertainty principle, #understand project, #know cost

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need a description of your project and its projected cost." "That's impossible." "The project uncertainty principle says that if you understand a project, you won't know its cost, and vice versa." "You just made that up." "That doesn't make it wrong."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #make changes, #no credibility, #idiots, #phone call, #boss offcie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I told Matthew that there was no way we could make those changes." "Ring." The Boss: "Hi, Matthew!... Yes, of course we can make those changes; we're not idiots! Ha ha!!" Dilbert: "He says you have no credibility."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #online study class, #sexual harrasmnet, #don't have one, #happy actors

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment." The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment." Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad year, #committed, #compensation packages, #management, #stay course, #visons

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "We've had a bad year but management is commited to staying the course." Dilbert: "Question: did you just say our leaders are receiving huge compensation packages to keep doing what doesn't work?" The Boss: "No. The way I said it, they're visionaries." Dilbert: "So ... they keep doing what doesn't work ... and they see visions?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ethics question, #okay to retype, #medication

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I have a question for the ethics hotline. Is it okay to retype the directions on my boss's prescription medication. The boss: I know I can't do this next thing because I've tried.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #brown bag seminars, #ethical, #ethics problems, #seminar

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The company will be holding a series of brown bag seminars on corporate ethics. Dilbert:is it ethical to steal our lunch hour and pretend that the ethics problems sent come from our executives? The Boss: I wouldn't know because I haven't taken the seminar.