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Dogbert stands on the arm of the couch with his ears up. Dilbert reads a newspaper. Dogbert says, "I discovered I'm much cuter when I put my ears up." Dogbert says, "It seems impossible that I could be any cuter than I was." Dilbert says, "Maybe you aren't." Dogbert says, "I could kill you and no jury would believe I did it." Dilbert says, "Okay, THAT was cute."
Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."
Wally, still with his ponytail, walks up to Dilbert and Alice who eat lunch. Wally has a woman (bimbo) on his arm. Wally says, "I sold me internet business and married Roxie." Wally says, "Don't worry about my money. Roxie insisted that we sign prenuptial agreements." Wally says, "Now for our honeymoon." Roxie says, "Whoa! That's not in our agreement." Alice says, "He didn't read it."
Dilbert walks with the scapegoat whose arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I'm sorry you got shot, scapegoat." The scapegoat says, "I'm used to it." The scapegoat says, "The worst was the day I blundered across the National Rifle Association's chili cook-off" The scapegoat says, "At first, verybody wanted to stand near me. Then the accusations started...."
The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."
The boss runs into Alice in the hall. He cocks his arm and says, "Alice, I expect you to work all night to finish that project. It's vital!" Alice says, "Aagh!! I'm a victim of a random act of management!" The boss sits behind his desk, looks in a mirror and thinks, "I was sure the arm-pumping would make it seem less random."
The girl with several piercing holds Dilbert's arm and says, "When I saw you wear a bathrobe to work, I knew you were a rebel." The girl says, "From now on, when you come upon a group of us cool rebels, we won't suddenly stop talking." Dilbert and the girl walk up to two heavily pierced men. One of the pierced rebel men says, "But if I'M right and yellow IS a flavor, I get to hammer a nail into YOUR skull."
Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."
The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."
Alice works at her computer. The Boss says, "It's 'positive attitude week,' Alice." The Boss hands Alice a paperweight. The Boss says, "If you see a co-worker with a positive attitude..." The Boss says, "...give him the positive attitude paperweight." A man walks down the hall whistling, as Alice cocks her arm with the paperweight. Alice says, "There's one!" The paperweight glances of the man's head. Alice says to The Boss, "It worked. He's back to normal. The man says, "#$!!" Wally says, "Ha Ha Ha!!" Alice thinks, "Uh-oh." The man says, "#$!!" Alice says to the boss, "One more! Quick!!" The Boss covers his eyes in frustration.