Great Honor Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

394 Results for Great Honor

View 71 - 80 results for great honor comic strips. Discover the best "Great Honor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #stan, #customer, #engineering, #deliver, #salesman, #classes, #night, #karate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Stan, you promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver do you know what this means?! Stan: It means I'm great salesman and you're a putrid engineer. Maybe you should consider taking classes at night. Dilbert: Karate classes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reengineer, #business processes, #jump on band wagon

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers, #marketing, #technical, #feasible, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: we in engineering think of the marketing department as our customer, Fred. FRED: Thats great. Id like you to do a technical feasibility study for me. Wally: would that require any work? I said "customer" not boss.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teller, #automated, #machine, #menus, #chinese language option

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat, #mouse, #politically incorrect, #named in rats honor, #scuzzy, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "Why is that thing called a mouse and not a rat?" Ratbert: "At the risk of being labelled, quote, politically correct, unquote, I must object." "I demand to have something named in my honor! Dilbert: "What about the 'scuzzy' interface? Hee hee."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

View Transcript

Transcript

"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."