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A woman holding a cocktail glass says to another woman, "Uh-oh . . . That guy is coming to talk to us." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this long walk across the room." The woman says, "You're the ugly one, Edna. You'll have to protect me." Dilbert thinks, "They spotted me. They're planning a defense." The woman says to Edna, "I'll push you between us. You start babbling about your cat or something." Dilbert thinks, "I can't do it. I'll veer off at the last minute . . ." The woman shouts, "Now, Edna!" and pushes her. Edna falls and Dilbert trips over her. The woman thinks, "It's hard to be the pretty one." From the floor, Edna says, "I have a cat named Boots."
Dogbert opens the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm from the government. We're repaying insured depositors who lost money in 'Ethel's S $ L.'" The man continues, "We're a little short on cash ourselves, so we're divvying up the items Ethel bought." Dogbert holds a man's hand and says to Dilbert, "I got a senator."
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people. Dilbert thinks, "I haven't spoken for this whole meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I'll wait for a quiet space and chime in with something that makes me look smart." The man next to Dilbert asks, "Does anybody have any unproductive yet insightful comments to show how smart they are?" Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Yo."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've addressed your concern about the potential safety hazard of computer terminal radiation." An air bag explodes out of a computer monitor and knocks Dilbert off his feet. Dilbert lies in a hole in the wall. A scientist with a clipboard says, "Air bags -- their time has come."
Dilbert looks out the window and says, "Hey, that's Lisa. I dated her last night!" Dilbert walks outside and says, "Lisa! What are you doing in this neighborhood!" Lisa looks guilty and replies, "Well . . . Actually, I didn't know how to tell you to stop calling me . . ." Lisa continues, ". . . So I came to throw this brick with a note on it through your window." Lisa throws the brick and it crashes through the window. She says, "It seems awkward now . . ." Dilbert reads the note on the brick, ". . . It was like you sucked the oxygen out of the room . . . You remind me of fungus . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . Continued on brick two." Dilbert ducks as another brick crashes through the window. He says, "That's it! She is OFF my Valentine list!!"
Dilbert enters a conference room and asks, "Is this the meeting?" People at the table mumble a response. Dilbert says, "Good." A man says, "Everybody take a copy of the agenda." Dilbert reads the agenda and thinks, "I'm in the wrong meeting . . . Now it's too awkward to leave." Dilbert thinks, "I'll casually stretch my arms, flick the lights off and escape under cover of dark." Dilbert turns the light off. Several people say, "Ouch!" Five people lie on top of each other in the doorway. The man says, "Oh, sorry, wrong agenda." Dilbert arrives at home wearing tattered clothing. He tells Dogbert, "I'm starting to think that the problem with our economy is deeper than high interest rates."
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."
Dogbert walks in the park. A fish with legs comes walking down the path. The fish says, "Howdy!" Dogbert says, "I've never seen a fish with legs." The fish explains, "I'm evolving into a higher life form." Dogbert says, "That sounds like a lot of work." The fish says, "Yeah . . . The hard part is finding a mate who isn't turned off by legs." The fish continues, "With any luck, the kids will be mutants too." The fish continues, "I'm hoping they'll have arms but not look too much like Rodney Dangerfield." The fish stands at the edge of a pond. He tells a female fish, "These legs are a natural advantage!" The female says, "Oh, that's original."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."