Happiness Comic Strips - Page 8
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83 Results for Happiness
View 71 - 80 results for happiness comic strips. Discover the best "Happiness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Sunday January 01,
2017
Tags happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business
Transcript
Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.
Thursday March 09,
2017
No Texting At Work
Tags politeness, etiquette, company policy, communication, distraction, social media, conversation, interaction, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?
Friday March 10,
2017
Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar
Tags politeness, conversation, etiquette, efficiency, illogical
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.
Sunday July 09,
2017
Tags artificial intelligence, ai, robot, hope, dream, depression, meaning, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?
Thursday November 23,
2017
Doctor Will Operate
Tags laziness, happiness, satisfaction, aspirations, psychology
Transcript
Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.
Saturday February 03,
2018
Money Can't Buy Happiness
Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Thursday February 22,
2018
Compensation Based On Happiness
Tags happiness, company culture, raise, wages, job satisfaction, compensation, psychology, money
Transcript
Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.
Wednesday May 30,
2018
Arguing With Idiots
Tags happiness, secret, tip, arguing, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.
Tuesday September 10,
2019
Cause Of Unhappiness
Tags criticism, happiness, office workers, research, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.


