Haven't Submitted Paperwork Comic Strips - Page 8
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172 Results for Haven't Submitted Paperwork
View 71 - 80 results for haven't submitted paperwork comic strips. Discover the best "Haven't Submitted Paperwork" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 28,
2002
Tags #downsized, #no revenue, #three months, #fire billing, #excellent performance
Transcript
The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, your performance is excellent but I have to downsize you." Ted asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "Our billing system is so defective that we haven't made any revenue in three months." Ted asks, "Why don't you fire the billing department?" The Boss responds, "I did... three months ago."
Thursday August 29,
2002
Tags #evolving, #sunlight, #sensitive, #attitude, #zit, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Hi, Bob. I haven't seen you lately." Bob responds, "I was doing some evolving." Dilbert and Bob are sitting at the kitchen table. Bob says, "I noticed that I have a zit that's sensitive to sunlight. I'm hoping it becomes an eye." Dilbert responds, "I like your attitude." Bob says, "Try to sneak up on me."
Thursday October 17,
2002
Tags #product launch party, #day and night, #working, #five years, #mime impression, #party, #add much
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."
Thursday October 31,
2002
Tags #defendant guilty, #sentence tod eath, #deliberated, #heard evidence, #lenos monlogues, #not eveidence
Transcript
The foreman of the jury says, "We find the defendant guilty and we sentence him to death." A woman in the jury says, "Umm.. we haven't deliberated. We haven't even heard any evidence yet." The foreman replies, "Okay, so, what I'm hearing is that Leno's monologue is NOT evidence?"
Monday November 18,
2002
Tags #customers into sheep, #device, #buy whatever, #free wool, #marketing dept
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a coworker. The coworker says, "The marketing department wants you to build a device that turns customers into sheep." Dilbert asks, "Why? So they'll buy whatever we tell them to buy?" The coworker responds, "To be honest, we haven't given it much thought beyond free wool."
Tuesday April 01,
2003
Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."
Friday April 04,
2003
Tags #defective coworker, #trade in, #co workers with defects, #parts hair in middle, #defects yet discovered
Transcript
Dilbert carries Peri Noid into a back tunnel way. The Garbageman says, "You can't repair a defective co-worker." The Garbageman leads Dilbert into a room filled with defective co-workers enclosed in glass capsules. The Garbageman says, "The best you can do is trade for a co-worker whose defects you haven't yet discovered." Dilbert points to a man and asks, "What's wrong with this one?" The Garbageman replies, "He parts his hair in the middle; that's just wrong."
Sunday May 25,
2003
Tags #fifty candiadtes, #good news, #low level lackeys, #once in a lifetime, #paperwork from promotion
Transcript
The Boss stops an employee in the hallway and says, "I have some good news for you!" The Boss puts his arm around the employee and says, "The paperwork for your promotion just came through." The Boss says, "There were fifty good candidates for this job." The Boss hands the paperwork to the employee and says, "It's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity." The Boss continues, "Most people in your specialty are destined to be low-level lackeys forever. But not you!" The employee reads the paperwork and says, "Umm.. my name is Tim. This promotion is for Tom." The Boss replies, "Oh..." He pauses and then continues, "Well.. being a low- level lackey forever is good, too." Tim walks out crying. The Boss calls after him, "Could you tell Tom I have some good news?"
Friday August 29,
2003
Tags #magic management, #doubted powers, #single employee, #hard at work
Transcript
Wally: Tinkle tinkle tinkle. "Boss approaching." The Boss: "Thanks for the magic management necklace! I have to admit that I doubted its powers." The Boss: "But since I've been wearing it, I haven't seen a single employee who wasn't hard at work."
Thursday September 11,
2003
Tags #created time line, #identified resources, #revise timeline, #re examine, #thousand ways, #haven't done anything
Transcript
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."