Hiring Freeze Comic Strips - Page 8

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91 Results for Hiring Freeze

View 71 - 80 results for hiring freeze comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Freeze" comics from Dilbert.com.

Team Interview

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Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

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Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

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Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temperature, #humans, #nature, #thermostat, #robots, #technology, #evolution, #fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

New Ted

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New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

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Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.

Recommening A Friend

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Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #employee, #hiring, #money, #referral, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Social Justice Warrior

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Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sjw, #hiring, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #sensitivity, #political correcness, #politically correct, #technology

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Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!

Cultural Fit

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Cultural Fit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #intelligence, #hiring

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Dilbert: We're looking for employees that fit our culture. Man: What's so great about your culture is that it can't be improved? Dilbert: You might be too smart to work here. Man: That's the vibe I'm getting too.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #honesty, #immoral, #ulterior motives

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Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.

Terrible Personality

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Terrible Personality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology

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Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.