Honest Opinions Comic Strips - Page 8

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133 Results for Honest Opinions

View 71 - 80 results for honest opinions comic strips. Discover the best "Honest Opinions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Exit Interview "And what is your reason for leaving?" "To be honest, I was spending way too much time thinking about creative ways to kill you." "Have you cleared out your desk?" "Why don't you go check."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things

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CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #dont breathe, #help, #rat, #software, #software consulatant, #trying to help, #technology, #engineering

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Ratbert the software consultant RatBert: Don't let your lack of knowledge interfere with my brilliance. Don't touch the keyboard, don't offer opinions and don't breathe so loudly that I can hear it. Ratbert: There. I've either configured your software or erased something called a bios.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #help, #meeting, #injury, #violence, #business

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Dilbert says, "I have no project of my own, so I wander the cubicles offering unsolicited advice." Dilbert says, "Speaking of which, you should put a little extra thought into your cooling system design. It looks monkey-made." Dilbert says, "I'm discovering that honest and helpful are a bad combination."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #e-mail, #money, #broke, #budget cuts, #cleaning, #toilet

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To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #website design, #computer, #eyes wide, #psychopath, #photo wall, #toe fungus, #despair, #yell, #mouth open, #scared, #pain, #satan, #licking, #brain, #tone down, #hair stand up, #technology

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Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #honest feedback, #strategy, #lie, #misperception, #hate people, #business

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The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car rental, #reserve, #car insurance, #overpriced gas, #honest, #clown car, #ashtray

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Dilbert says, "I reserved a mid-sized sedan." Man says, "We don?t care what you reserved. We're in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." Dilbert says, "That's refreshingly honest." Man says, "I can get you into a clown car or an ashtray on wheels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards

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Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag