Honesty Comic Strips - Page 8

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105 Results for Honesty

View 71 - 80 results for honesty comic strips. Discover the best "Honesty" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, problems, talking, solution, obliviousness, criticism, honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter

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Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Motivation Is Magical Thinking

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Motivation Is Magical Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, magic, inspiration, futility, futile, honesty, hard truth

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Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags first impressions, personality, fake, honesty, negativity, negative, criticism, dating, attraction, relationships, psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

People Keep Stealing His Ideas

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People Keep Stealing His Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, honesty, insult, conversation, ideas

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Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.

Dilbert Times His Nods

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Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, candor, lying, deception, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

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Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

The Smart Plans

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The Smart Plans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, honesty, candor, label, semantics, politeness

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Dilbert: I compared your plan to a few alternatives. Boss: Let's not label the other plans "the smart ones." Dilbert: Do you want anything else mislabeled?

Team Interview

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Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, managers, interviews, employment, honesty, candor, warning

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Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

How Work Is Going

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How Work Is Going - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology

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Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.