Labor Market Comic Strips - Page 8

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150 Results for Labor Market

View 71 - 80 results for labor market comic strips. Discover the best "Labor Market" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #feasibility analysis, #two years, #obsolete, #project can't succeed, #credible in market, #stupid things, #complete waste, #behind schedule

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Dilbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "I completed the feasibility analysis." Dilbert continues, "It would take us two years to build a product that will be obsolete one year from now." The Boss replies, "Okay, let's get started." Dilbert says, "Um.. No, the point is project can't succeed." The Boss responds, "We want people to think we're developing this sort of product, so we'll be credible in the market." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to do stupid things until we appear credible?" The Boss replies, "Exactly!" Dilbert walks away and exclaims, "Gaaa!! My life is a complete waste!!" The Boss says to Catbert, "Tomorrow I'll ask him why he's behind schedule." Catbert responds, "Very evil. Nicely done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hard day, #meeting with ceo, #billion dollar comapny, #free stock, #cash fow, #revenue, #disaster events, #tragic evenets, #slpping, #fear induced meeting

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Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #replace myself, #cheap elbonian labor, #describe appearence, #coffe mug

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Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #typo discovered, #driving staretgy, #eberyone, #avery wong, #free delivery

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Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business

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DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

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Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #market budget, #horse purchase, #top thoroughbread, #broke leg, #starting gate, #shot horse, #sponger sailboat, #lunch, #roast beef sandwhich, #piece of lead

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"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no straight answer, #asap, #when, #done, #soon, #slack, #how much slack?, #questions

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Dilbert: do you have market demand numbers? Ted: Im in the middle of something. can I get back yo you later? Dilbert: How much later? Ted: when do you need it? Dilbert: As soon as possible. Ted: I'll do it as soon as Im done. Dilbert: when will that be? Ted: as soon as possible. Dilbert: when will it be possible? Ted: cut name some slack. Dilbert: how much slack do you need?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2005's comic on:


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We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2005's comic on:


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I've decided to test my market value by doing some interviews. "Would you like some interview tips?" "Nah. I'll use my instincts." "You're an hour late!" "Your men's room is like a palace."