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Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."
The boss is sitting in his office and Catbert is sitting on the boss's desk. Catbert says to the boss:"Being a manager means never having to be less condescending just because you're wrong." Both Catbert and the boss laugh out loud: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Carol is sitting at her computer and Dilbert is standing behind her holding a folder. Dilbert says to Carol: "Did he finish my performance evaluation?" Carol answers: "I heard him working on it."
Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Work is for losers." Dogbert continues, "A winner says, 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Wouldn't people respect me less?" Dogbert replies, "I don't see how."
Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Any advice?" Catbert says, "Try to be less like you." Dilbert, carrying a bunch of flowers, thinks, "That might work." Dilbert hands the flowers to a female co-worker and thinks, "Less like me... Less like me." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "I collect crystals." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The female co-worker says, "I don't know of any scientific evidence that they can heal." Dilbert thinks, "Whew." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "But it's my point of view that they do." Dilbert says to the female co-worker, "When did ignorance become a point of view?" Seated in a restaurant reading a menu, Dilbert sits across from the frowning female co-worker and thinks, "Too much like me."
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Motivation Fairy, hovering in the air behind Wally, says "You will be my greatest challenge." Wally turns to the Motivation Fairy and says, "I'll bet you get paid less than minimum wage and they don't reimburse you for travel." The Fairy drops the magic wand and says, "Wings... So... Heavy..." Wally asks, "So, what kind of career path you got going?"
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Do you have any advice for my job interview?" Catbert says to Dilbert, "Try juggling the items on his desk. It will make you seem confident." The interviewer has been knocked senseless in his desk chair. Dilbert, holding various desk items in his hands, says, "Sorry."
The Boss sits at the conference table next to Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "We need to do more with less." Wally raises his hand and says, "I propose that we work smarter while broadening our focus." The Boss says, "Wally, that doesn't mean anything." Wally replies, "Well, excuse my leadership."
The Boss finishes firing an employee and says, "...Effective immediately." The employee clenches his fists in happiness and yells, "YES!" The employee dances on his chair and yells, "Ah-ooga! Woo-hoo!" The Boss looks surprised. The Boss suggests to Catbert, "We can make the severance packages less generous."